Illustration by Agata Kawa

Illustration by Agata Kawa

Anger is one of those emotions that’s been long-stricken from the social palette of acceptability. Especially for women, who are taught that being angry makes you unlikeable, and being unlikeable is a kind of rejection from Femininity itself.

So many set about a lifetime of unspoken penance to becoming ‘a nice person.’ You turn down your volume, soften your step, retract your talons and acquiesce. But a terrible thing is lost in the suppression of anger – your relationship with one of your greatest allies: Instinct.

Anger arises when your heart has been offended, your values have been wronged, your beloveds are threatened, or somewhere, justice has been denied.

Anger is the catalyst to the impotence you may feel in these situations. It sets your heart racing, elevates your blood pressure and quickens your breath. Adrenaline surges through your veins and poises you for action.

This profound physical transformation can make you feel out of control, but that may mostly be because the incisiveness of power has become a stranger to us.

When we suppress our anger, it often results in one of two ways: It turns inward and takes the form of Depression and/or somaticizes into disease, or it bursts out of us in an exaggerated and inappropriate way.

Next time you find yourself in this mode, try taking a moment to yourself where you can ‘run your anger,’ which is to say amplify and befriend it! Let it course through your veins – feel the power of its presence in your body – let it invigorate you. Give it a voice and listen to what it has to say.

A terrible thing is lost in the suppression of anger - your relationship with one of your greatest allies: Instinct.Click To Tweet

Once you know what your instincts are telling you, you can begin to make the necessary changes in your life. You can set limits against other people’s rude or inconsiderate behavior, defend yourself or others in a constructive way. You can finally speak the unspeakable.

To learn more about befriending feelings, here’s a link to Toko-pa’s mailing list: