Embroidery and graphite on fabric by Ana Teresa Barboza
I want to be guided by older-ups. I want babies to be born where old people die. I want to be sandwiched in the middle of a messy togetherness. I want to be warned before I do something stupid. I want to be forgiven when I do it anyway. I want wisdoms to be tapped out on my eardrums and not Googled. I want transitions to be recognized by fire. I want gifts to be educed from children. And teenagers and adults and I want to mean something to my community. I want to get drunk on substance morning and night. I want to hear your dreams. I want to raise a revolution for gentleness. I want to call out the bullshit on consensus reality. I want to get rich so I can billboard the highways with validations.
I don’t want to be another faker. I don’t want to show you my good side and hide my humanity. I don’t want to dole you out my Self in digestible status-chunks. I want to challenge you in long, drawn-out rituals and still find you interested. I want to feed you seventeen course meals made with spices I crushed. I want to recite you circular poems, each beginning cutting a deeper grasp. I want to make you feel something, even if it’s awkward. I want to sing you songs which are ancient and new. I want to carve stories in trees with tools my elders fashioned. I want to keep sharpening them. I want to find places we’ve never been. And then, I want to return there, but backwards.
I want to shuffle up words so we don’t sleep through them. I want to learn things and then be splashed into never forgetting. I want to make you feel seen. I want to hold your pounding heart in my gentlest of hands. I want to make your thing feel like my thing. I don’t want to miss a moment. I want to dig at the bottom and find it false. I want to turn up unknown depths. I want to stand in this hurricane and sing the sweetest, most naked song you can bear. I want to be alive with you.
Excerpt from “Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home” by Toko-pa Turner (belongingbook.com)
I think of my Friend SahRah who is recently on a journey in South Africa visiting and learning about the Sacred White Lions. She visualize her being eaten by the White lion as she surrenders to deeper truths…
Yes! Surrendering to our own power <3
This post and fabulous picture is raw and real. A very dear person has died to her family and friends today, and, surprisingly, this post makes me feel better. Life is as messy as it is beautiful. xxoo
Bless you Jenna – may your friend make an easeful passing into the next world and may your heart feel comforted in grief. Lots of love, Toko-pa
Love this – living life head on and on life’s terms.
Reowrrr!
I love this
Thank you Carol!
Wow! If all talk was so real…
Indeed!
I want to lick your face with my eyeballs everyday. I want to dance in the rain like wild unicorns with you. I want to cross the rainbow bridge into heaven and launch full on as descended Masters into this fiery earth. With you. Can we hold hands?
Best comment in the history of Everything! Naturally my answer is YES. And more YES.
undone by the possibilities
your words birth………..
billboards of validation
my thing like your thing
long drawn out rituals that still find me
present and waiting for more
undone
so beautifully resonant
thank you
Mmmmm thank you for your yummy remix, Barbara!
Thanks for writing this, you are a free spirit !
“I want wisdoms to be tapped out on my eardrums and not Googled.”
Oh, thank you for this. Just what I needed to read today.
Beautiful writing!
So so deeply felt & beautiful!
Just so perfect! Thank you.
Wowhh! You are a brilliant being. I can’t stop myself from telling you about the synchronicities and overlapping that I feel when I read this. Thank you <3
Wow this speaks volumes to me right now as I seem to find the healthy masculine and feminine and thus Divine in the world right now. I want all this as well!
Thanks again. See linked image.
Gorgeous, thank you!
Sooooo, unbelievably beautiful and touching. It feels like you reach way in and say there is that the spot that needs loving and healing and the answer is always yes.
Your eloquence reaches down into the heart of my heart. Thank you Toko-Pa.
this is amazing thank you so much
Thrilling into every fiber of my being. Thank you…
Brilliant, beautiful, real, raw, truth!
I am so very grateful to find so many people loving this as much as I do <3 May we all find a place to live it!
Yes!
Amen! Toko’s love sonnet to the unniverse!
This moves me in so many ways. I have been longing for writing like this. So many words are are just there to cover up that which is real, because it’s too scary and vulnerable to share it. But these words, oh my, they feel so real! They make me feel seen and understood and not lonely at all. This is why i love language. When used bravely, like this, words can tear down all the walls we humans have built between us, and connect us in profound ways. Thank you Toko-pa!
This reminds me of The Invitation- by Oriah…. Beautiful raw and deep rooted thoughts xoxo
Thank you Toko-pa for connecting so deeply and opening yourself to share from the very core of your being. The light of your words reaches out, touches inside, and gently guides.
May we all live life with such open heartededness!
Dearest Beloved Toko-pa, I celebrate being sung with you in the sweet madness and wonder. As we dance from darkness to light, from death to immortality. You are a blessing in my life and all who know you.
Beloved Toko-pa, I celebrate being sung with you in the sweet madness and wonder. As we dance from darkness to light, from death to immortality. You are a blessing in my life and all who know you.
Beloved Toko-pa, I celebrate being sung with you in the sweet madness and wonder. You are a blessing in my life and all who know you. May your austerity’s increase with every breath, so that your cauldron may grow ever stronger with the fires of Truth.
Beloved Toko-pa, I celebrate being sung with you in the sweet madness and wonder. May your austerity’s increase with every breath, so that your cauldron may grow ever stronger with the fires of Truth.
Beloved Toko-pa, I celebrate being sung with you in the sweet madness and wonder. May your austerity’s increase with every breath, so that your cauldron may grow ever stronger with the fires of Truth.
Hi. I’m wondering if I can repost your writing on instagram? It means so much to me
I want to be alive with you too. Thank you for your true and beautiful work.
Love this…being fully embodied and alive is sooo demonised in our culture so we must fight to be real and free.
Let it be so. Namaste.
A man I was in love with sent me this book shortly before he died. In fact, our last conversation we had included this book. He said that we would talk about it as I read the book. Sadly, that was our last conversation and we will never be able to talk about it in this physical realm. But maybe I will still be able to talk to him about it through my dreams and through the web I am weaving throughout this life which will always contain a thread of his heart tied to mine.