Nov 112014

To have one’s trust betrayed is one of the worst human heartbreaks. Under the pain of the dishonesty revealed in your environment, your very belief in goodness may be compromised. The seduction in the wake of betrayal is to take up a thicker armour, to practice at expecting less of others, or to punish one’s own naïveté. But these are the same refusals from which our world is dying. Never should a judgement be made [read more…]

May 172014

This being human is tough stuff and one of the acute losses we all feel is that of meaningful friendship and community. That which our great, great ancestors took for certain: when a wounding befalls one of us, we are all implicated. And so we lean in to support those in pain with our humble gifts of empathy and presence. We shoulder our unbearable questions together and we honour with ritual the devastating requirements and [read more…]

Jan 262014

Anger is one of those emotions that’s been long-stricken from the social palette of acceptability. Especially for women, who are taught that being angry makes you unlikeable, and being unlikeable is a kind of rejection from Femininity itself. So many set about a lifetime of unspoken penance to becoming ‘a nice person.’ You turn down your volume, soften your step, retract your talons and acquiesce. But a terrible thing is lost in the suppression of [read more…]

Jan 182014

Once I’ve been given a Dream answer or, in many cases, a poetic refining of my question, I look for ways to Dream it Forward. What I mean by that language is; if the generosity of the Dream is ignored or discarded, the gift is not fully received. Similar to listening to someone with only cursory attention, it can do more harm than good. It unconsciously communicates your disinterest and so you won’t be surprised [read more…]

Dec 122013

In preparation for his most recent (7th) book of poetry ‘Pilgrim,’ David Whyte collected stories from everyone he knew who had walked the great Camino de Santiago, a 791 km pilgrimage from the foothills of the Pyrenees in France to Santiago de Compostela in northwestern Spain. He writes about life through the eyes of a pilgrim – a person who has, intentionally or not, found themselves in a place of meaningful transition. This being on [read more…]

May 282013

One of the most powerful dreams I was ever given was a visitation from my maternal Grandfather who came to me as an adult, twenty years after he died. Like many ancestral dreams, it was singularly vivid and more lucid than everyday dreams. I looked into the bright clarity of his eyes, felt the warmth and weight of his hand on my shoulder, and recognized the melody of his thick accent even though I was [read more…]

Jan 112008

Dear Toko-pa; In my first dream, I am married. I am at my parents’ helping build a stone wall and this spouse-person keeps calling and asking where I am, telling me I am the type of person who only does what is best for me – how I am unreliable, ambivalent and untrustworthy – but that he still loves me. My father is building the wall all wrong – it keeps falling down. He doesn’t [read more…]

Oct 192007

As the delightfully irreverent Tom Robbins once said, “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of being the perfect love.” This may offer some explanation as to why half of all marriages come unhitched. Most plunge in thinking they have found their other half, only to end up disappointed post-honeymoon when they still only feel like half a person. Sidestepping the nurture versus nature debate, it does seem like each of us is [read more…]

Jun 232007

If there is one thing you can count on dreams to provide, it is plenty of paradox. In every dream you will find opposing forces having out their mythical arguments like night and day, compassion and withdrawal, pursuer and victim, death and birth. While it is our habit to pick a side and snub the other, dreamwork is all about Yumming the Both. You’ve heard it said that opposites attract, but have you ever considered [read more…]

May 172007

I had to cross the street in front of him. I tried to get his attention but he wouldn’t acknowledge me. A minute later, he called me on the phone. His voice was the voice of my first love. He told me since we broke up a month ago, he’d gone to Germany. He said it was cheap, only $700 to fly there, and he was going again soon. I felt jealous and left out. [read more…]