Nov 172014
Owen Gent

Artwork by Owen Gent

In fairy tales, there is often a character whose sole purpose is to introduce doubt into your mission. Like a strong tide their influence can pull you away from the shores of your truth,  tempting you to renounce your secret vow altogether.

These characters are not always unsympathetic – they may even be folks you admire – but when you are subtly attuned to your nature, you’ll notice yourself wilting in their presence, taking on their diminishing view of your abilities.

Like eating something that doesn’t agree with you, this will give you a sour feeling in your belly, which sometimes grows into a rejection of life itself. In the worst of times, it may seem to stretch into an ocean of lostness in every direction.

When you find yourself in such an untethered place, there is a secret  which can anchor you back into intimacy with your vow: The recognition that you are only susceptible to the invalidation which matches a companion vulnerability in your own standpoint.

Now, this isn’t to say that the other is not being an empirical jerk, but that in their jerkness, they’ve brought to light a place within that requires fortification. It is the thing that keeps us in relationship with those who don’t see us, or which holds us back from fully emerging with our gifts. You may even recognise it as an almost comfortable self-abandonment, where your losses outnumber your triumphs and “that’s how it will always be”.

But in the Dreaming Way, these periods of detachment are invitations to deepen your vow. To make boundaries against those sour-belly influences, tightening your circle of intimacy, taking symbolic steps towards that which knows your true name. This can be as simple as keeping a daily list of those beautiful things which conspire in your favour, recognising the tiny triumphs that are keeping you from downspiraling, or exalting in some physically symbolic way the life you are calling towards you.

Destiny is not to be mistaken with fate, where one has no influence upon its outcome. It requires us to take steps towards it, to parent its growth especially in times of doubt and weakness. And if we find the courage to move in its direction despite the absence of grand signs, we are often graced by the small miracles of confirmation and synchronicity that we’d been hoping for all along.

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A writer, artist and tender of dreams, Toko-pa has been interviewed by CNN News & BBC Radio and her writing has appeared in publications around the world. Thanks to Skype, she works with dreamers internationally in her Private Dreamwork practice, based on Salt Spring Island in Canada. You can find Toko-pa on Facebook or sign up for her mailing list to receive news about upcoming events.

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  14 Responses to “Doubt and Deepening your Vow”

  1. After yet another cold truth has landed on my warm heart……the hot tears were rolling again last night…. Thank you for this message today….. I need to sit with it for a while and let it wash out the cobwebs….

  2. It was a miracle to find just this message as I am drowning in that sea of doubt – an untethered place. Thank you for this message. It helps.

  3. Almost didn’t read this. Late hour, need to get ready for tomorrow. Bad few days. Every word was like a sacred blessing on my haggard mind. What a gift to read this tonight. Truly, thank you.

  4. Strongheart. There’s so much here for me. It feels like a bridging of worlds, with much swirling to mind and no thought holding the weight of the gifts. Thank you Toko-pa.

  5. There is someone in my life who is seeking to undermine and destroy everything I have, and it is very difficult to find a way forwards that doesn’t involve anger and reciprocal actions. Reading this reminds me I need to face it with humility, and have the courage to walk away whilst looking to myself for the answers.

  6. Your writing and insight is a blessing. Thank-you for your honesty and integrity.

  7. Thank you for sending this out. Like the other comments, I too am fertile ground for your words to take root in….I pray that they do. I know that only with light can the shadows be seen….”shine it’s ever loving light on me”.

  8. Thank you!! Perfect timing.

  9. Needed this reminder… perfectly timed. Everything without us reflects what is within us… an ever deepening invitation to take full responsibility for our own lives. Blessings to you sister.

  10. this is marvellous. and comes at the rright time.

  11. The message is well received

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