Dec 222010

Phoenix by Cameron Mathieson

As the tide rises above its own highest mark, it swallows every last reluctant debris. Among them is my body of yesterday, which I have anchored down with stones & prayer and which, like a cicada’s shell, is molted for wings.

I recognize the gravity, the all of everything she has pushed through for me. Feet having dug, fingers having scraped, heart having heaved, voice unmuffled I now speak for my underground nymph and her faith.

Feeding on root juice and things you can’t prove, her life was an exit tunnelling all the way through.

Yes the shedding is long, but the swallowing is quick. I witness the sea lick the last of her lifelessness under, standing taller than my would-be fears, I wonder if she’s left anything in me behind. But my gratitude eclipses the dark fullness of her sorrow; the fractures in her backbone are in me twice firm; into the emptiness of her loss my fullness pours; and where she stood alone, I fly in formation.

My heart is her much-deserved award. Gilded and inscribed in defiance, it is for her that I shine.

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A writer, artist and tender of dreams, Toko-pa has been interviewed by CNN News & BBC Radio and her writing has appeared in publications around the world. Thanks to Skype, she works with dreamers internationally in her Private Dreamwork practice, based on Salt Spring Island in Canada. You can find Toko-pa on Facebook or sign up for her mailing list to receive news about upcoming events.

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  12 Responses to “Total Eclipse of a Yesterday Me”

  1. Thank you for keeping me on your email list. I appreciate your talents and capabilities in so many areas, especially in the hi-tech culture we live in where the imagination and creativity are geared toward more gadgets. Inner space deserves equal time, and you help so beautifully.
    Thank you

  2. So lovely to hear from you Peggy! I appreciate your comments so much, which help me to locate my selfness in all these zeroes and ones <3

  3. where did you come from? honestly… i feel like i was looking for this connection my entire life. there are so many ways i always felt alone until there was you.

  4. That was so beautiful and the eclipse here at the winter solstice, preparing for birth!

  5. “Feeding on root juice and things you can’t prove, her life was an exit tunnelling all the way through.” Still tunnelling, but glad to be given sight of the future light. Thank you so much for living in your brightness and sharing it with us.

  6. I could feel every word of this exquisite poem. I feel truly blessed by the fragrance of it.

  7. You so often delight me with your incredible expression!

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